Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but this month I actually took all my medicines daily (unlike the last few months where I've taken them weekly, if at all), I got all my bloodwork done, I kept in good contact with my RE's office, I had a good block of time that I could have all my appointments and be discreet at work about them, and yet, nothing ever works according to plan!
I've been pretty bummed out since I returned from Croatia and wasn't able to start my IUI cycle. But, I put aside my disappointment, let my IUI coordinator know I wasn't happy with our miscommunication, and started fresh. My husband got all his pre-conception bloodwork done and results back (except his Cystic Fibrosis test, we haven't seen those results, yet). We both went in for a demonstration of how injectable medicines work and are administered - I can totally do it to myself, by the way, I'm sure of it. We also got the IUI schedule, when I go in for my ultrasounds, when I start taking my Follistim, my Ovidrel and my Prometrium suppositories, when I get my hCG trigger and then depending on all that when I have my IUI. All that we needed was for AF to show, and then we'd be on the train.
Except this month I didn't ovulate. The first time in about 6 or 7 months. I never got a peak on my CBEFM, just 20 days of "Highs." Now, this was already sort of a throw away cycle, since I was completely unmedicated (except for my normal daily meds), but it was also my last chance at conceiving naturally (and cheaply, since I don't even require a fancy dinner). So I went in and got a progesterone test just to make sure, and wow, it couldn't be any lower... Knowing that I didn't ovulate sent alarm bells going crazy in my head, because even with some ovulation, even a low progesterone reading of 5 or 6, as I normally have, at least AF remains pretty consistent - 31-33 day cycle. Without ovulation, I didn't know if AF would come naturally. So I was able to get some Provera pills in the hopes that they would help my period start on time or just a tad late. Well, I'm on day 36 now & no AF. So, no big deal, right... except, of course I studied that
projected IUI schedule like an obsessed crazy person, and knew that if AF came when it was supposed to that my boss would be out of the office for almost the entire time that I would have to have my appointments, thus reducing the likelihood of having to answer questions, or be the subject of rumors, etc... So now I'm back to wondering if this month is a bust. Will my body betray me more, or will it finally be merciful and just work? So, I wait.
4 comments:
I'm holding my thumbs for you.
Hoping things speed up for you M!!
My husband used to make jokes when we were TTC naturally. One morning, he looked at me and said, "I remember when I used to pray so hard for your period. And now here I am praying so hard for it not to come. How funny...." Its amazing how times change, and there you are praying for AF. Who'd have thought it? I'll say a special prayer for you that she arrives soon...and in time for the boss's leave.
Erica
<3
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