Injecting yourself is too hard!

Today I started my follistim injectable meds for my IUI. I thought I would have no problem... I had no fear, no nervousness... until I was holding that needle, hovering in front of my tummy. I couldn't do it! Luckily my dh stepped up and did it. I felt absolutely nothing... but I still think DH will be my designated injector.

On Christmas I'll go in for another ultra sound, and then I think around 12/30 or thereabouts will be my IUI. I'm feeling excited, but keeping my expectations low.

My latest update

Why is it when you do everything right that everything ends up going wrong?

Maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but this month I actually took all my medicines daily (unlike the last few months where I've taken them weekly, if at all), I got all my bloodwork done, I kept in good contact with my RE's office, I had a good block of time that I could have all my appointments and be discreet at work about them, and yet, nothing ever works according to plan!

I've been pretty bummed out since I returned from Croatia and wasn't able to start my IUI cycle. But, I put aside my disappointment, let my IUI coordinator know I wasn't happy with our miscommunication, and started fresh. My husband got all his pre-conception bloodwork done and results back (except his Cystic Fibrosis test, we haven't seen those results, yet). We both went in for a demonstration of how injectable medicines work and are administered - I can totally do it to myself, by the way, I'm sure of it. We also got the IUI schedule, when I go in for my ultrasounds, when I start taking my Follistim, my Ovidrel and my Prometrium suppositories, when I get my hCG trigger and then depending on all that when I have my IUI. All that we needed was for AF to show, and then we'd be on the train.

Except this month I didn't ovulate. The first time in about 6 or 7 months. I never got a peak on my CBEFM, just 20 days of "Highs." Now, this was already sort of a throw away cycle, since I was completely unmedicated (except for my normal daily meds), but it was also my last chance at conceiving naturally (and cheaply, since I don't even require a fancy dinner). So I went in and got a progesterone test just to make sure, and wow, it couldn't be any lower... Knowing that I didn't ovulate sent alarm bells going crazy in my head, because even with some ovulation, even a low progesterone reading of 5 or 6, as I normally have, at least AF remains pretty consistent - 31-33 day cycle. Without ovulation, I didn't know if AF would come naturally. So I was able to get some Provera pills in the hopes that they would help my period start on time or just a tad late. Well, I'm on day 36 now & no AF. So, no big deal, right... except, of course I studied that
projected IUI schedule like an obsessed crazy person, and knew that if AF came when it was supposed to that my boss would be out of the office for almost the entire time that I would have to have my appointments, thus reducing the likelihood of having to answer questions, or be the subject of rumors, etc... So now I'm back to wondering if this month is a bust. Will my body betray me more, or will it finally be merciful and just work? So, I wait.

Sadness...

As much as I bemoan my own issues, in the scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about. This was especially made clear when I heard about two tragedies in the blogging world.

First, my friend Stephanie, (who is due with her first child in a little over a month) over at My Life... lost her mom (and her best friend) last week to a very nasty strain of breast cancer. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, and it just hit home so hard that I shouldn't take her remission (or her, for that matter) for granted. Another blogger, Laura, set up a donation page in Stephanie's mom's name, and I hope you might be able to spare a small amount to support the fight against breast cancer. Any amount can be charged right to your credit card & all goes directly to the Susan G. Komen for a Cure charity. Of course, it's tax deductible, too.

I also heard some terrible news through Little Blue Elephant that a little girl in Guatemala waiting for her adoptive family to come pick her up (they were just weeks away from their travel date, and the adoption had been finalized in Guatemala) was murdered, along with her foster family in a home invasion robbery. The family has a donation page set up at their blog for anyone who is able to help them out (it's on the left hand column, titled "chip in"). My heart breaks for them, and for the little girl, Josi, and her foster family. What a terrible tragedy. Please keep them in your thoughts.

Thank you, everyone, for your time.