Saturday, April 26, 2008

The $70.00 Smoothie

Well, it wasn't $70.00 for one smoothie, but that is how much I spent today on smoothie ingredients as recommended to me by my acupuncturist. She gave me a recipe, said I could find everything at Whole Foods, and so I went. So, what does $70.00 get you at Whole Paycheck?

(Did you know that you can buy fresh bee pollen? Freaky.)

I actually had a pretty tough, emotional day today. I don't enjoy crying in front of people, but today my body rebelled against me & let the tears flow while I was lying on the acupuncturist's table. And this was before I had 5 needles in my ear!

So, why was I crying? Well, stupid, effin AF came... which means round 1 of clomid + acupuncture did not work. I'm beginning to panic because I'm only giving myself 3 months with clomid, & I've just used up one of them.

Also, a friend on the Nest posted a picture from a gtg about 2 1/2 years ago. Pictured were 12 women. Of the 12, 8 have had babies since that gtg. 8! Of the 4 remaining, 2 are not at all interested in having kids (as far a I can tell), and the other two, well... one of them is typing a blog entry right now about her stupid infertility, the other one is having her own struggles.

I have never, ever, been the jealous type. I am not upset when I see new babies, hear about new BFPs (yay Ariel!!!!!) , or get invited to baby showers. Hell, I'll throw you a baby shower if you'll let me. (You really should - they are always a lot of fun...) My baby nephew, who lives in the building across from me, brings me more joy than anything I could imagine. Still, seeing those statistics played out so visually in front of me... 8 out of 10 with their babies... well, it reached down inside of me & made me ache. Plus, my dh was a jerk all day & only just made it up by taking me to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall (which was fantastic, btw). So, I'm doing ok, but I'm really, really hoping for better results this month. So, this month I will be clomid taking, herbal ingesting, & smoothie enjoying.

Oh, I also found a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor on Craigslist today, so I will also need to add pee monitoring to my list of daily chores.

I'm also hoping my fish doesn't die. He's not looking too good.


Anonymous said...

((HUGS)) I'm sorry you had such a tough day of it. Your time will come, hun.

Charmaine said...

Hugs to you Marisa!

Alison said...

Sorry that I'm only reading this now!! BIG HUGS TO YOU MARISA!!

Ariella said...

I am sorry to hear about AF. Having her show up sucks. I am sending you a big hug and will put you in my prayers.

That is great news about the CBEM. They are a shit load of money.

Echloe said...

We are on a similar trajectory. I'm on clomid cycle 2 and am paranoid that it won't work. And I do acupuncture weekly (for 4 months) and have got nothing to show for it yet. Blah.

Sorry AF came. I hope the smoothie works wonders for you.

katd said...

Thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog. I'm very happy to start reading yours, but sorry to come in on such a rough day. I really hope that you're feeling better.
I'm SO glad you found a good deal on a CBEM. Those things are freakin' expensive! :)