Yesterday I was all set to skip my next cycle and give myself a two month break from any more treatments. I was happy with that decision, relieved.
Then today, about 5 minutes ago, I decided I would go forward with an IUI this month. Hmm, I don't really understand any of my feelings. I'm always feeling so conflicted about EVERYTHING.
For the past week and a half I was beginning to feel a pull to look into international adoption. This has never been a path I thought I'd be interested in, but then my husband's birth country started making it a bit easier for Americans to adopt from there, and I started getting signs all over the place that maybe it was something to consider... I got really excited thinking of bringing a child into our lives that shared my husband's heritage (and, fingers-crossed, our nephew's extremely cute looks!), which is something that would be fairly unlikely with domestic adoption.
Before I called the agency handling the program I looked at their website. I could tell right away that there was something that would disqualify us... the requirement that adoptive parents be Christian... I identify "Christian" as my cultural background, but I don't go to church, and I don't have faith... so I don't think I qualify. I called the agency anyway, and the case worker was like, oh no, you just have to say you're Christian, they just don't want the babies brought up as Muslim... Um, ok... Later I got more information on the program, and a letter from my church minister/pastor would be requred, so I just dropped the whole idea. But it was fun thinking about it...
So, now I'm back to thinking about IUIs & all that other stuff... we'll see where my mind is tomorrow...
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3 comments:
I'm sorry things are so conflicted right now for you. I know what you mean...sometimes I felt like I couldn't decide what color socks to wear, much less what to do next in our IF journey. It's tough. But just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
If you really think that maybe international adoption might be an option, try checking the US embassy's website for that country. It should have a list of all the countries that have adoption programs with that country. I don't know if they will have the Christian requirement or not, but it might be worth checking into.
I am sorry you feel so conflicted about things. Just so you know a letter from a pastor would be easy to get. You just join a church and ask for the letter stating you are a member. That might feel like cheating but since all they want is to know that you aren't Muslim it will fit the requirement. Just food for thought.
my husband is a Universal life minister - I'm sure he'd be happy to write you a letter. But you'll have to come and drink beer with him on Sundays to be part of our "church".....=) Sorry to be glib - you know I'm pulling for you! Best of luck with the next IUI round. I just know that all of this will fall into place for you one way or another. As always, I'll be thinking good thoughts for you!
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