(Did you know that you can buy fresh bee pollen? Freaky.)
I actually had a pretty tough, emotional day today. I don't enjoy crying in front of people, but today my body rebelled against me & let the tears flow while I was lying on the acupuncturist's table. And this was before I had 5 needles in my ear!
So, why was I crying? Well, stupid, effin AF came... which means round 1 of clomid + acupuncture did not work. I'm beginning to panic because I'm only giving myself 3 months with clomid, & I've just used up one of them.
Also, a friend on the Nest posted a picture from a gtg about 2 1/2 years ago. Pictured were 12 women. Of the 12, 8 have had babies since that gtg. 8! Of the 4 remaining, 2 are not at all interested in having kids (as far a I can tell), and the other two, well... one of them is typing a blog entry right now about her stupid infertility, the other one is having her own struggles.
I have never, ever, been the jealous type. I am not upset when I see new babies, hear about new BFPs (yay Ariel!!!!!) , or get invited to baby showers. Hell, I'll throw you a baby shower if you'll let me. (You really should - they are always a lot of fun...) My baby nephew, who lives in the building across from me, brings me more joy than anything I could imagine. Still, seeing those statistics played out so visually in front of me... 8 out of 10 with their babies... well, it reached down inside of me & made me ache. Plus, my dh was a jerk all day & only just made it up by taking me to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall (which was fantastic, btw). So, I'm doing ok, but I'm really, really hoping for better results this month. So, this month I will be clomid taking, herbal ingesting, & smoothie enjoying.
Oh, I also found a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor on Craigslist today, so I will also need to add pee monitoring to my list of daily chores.
I'm also hoping my fish doesn't die. He's not looking too good.